Let us have a look on an hypothetical (yet, so common) average couple.
It is Tuesday night. They both sit comfortably on their fluffy couch in front of the telly waiting (the man usually) for the Champions League match to start. Don't ask me why the guy stayed home to watch that match with his beloved one instead of joining his friends, I don't know the answer. The girl decides to go to the bathroom to check on her manicure (not so interested in the pregame show, why would she be) 2 minutes before the kick off. Suddenly, her cell phone rings with that overly sweet romantic ring tone. ''-Honey, can you answer my cell phone, please,she yells. I am in the bathroom. Whoever it might be, tell 'im I''ll get back to him in 2 minutes.''
Unwillingly (kick off only seconds away), the guy walks up to that little piece of furniture where her phone lies, trying to keep both his eyes and his ears on the TV.
Hypnotized by the starting line-ups (why the hell is Sir Alex keeping Rooney benched!!) he comits the stupidest mistake. He answers her phone...her phone.
''-Yes, this is Jack. Ohh, hi Debby, she told me she ''ll get back to you in 2 minutes.Yea, yea, you too...listen, I am in the middle of something right now, ok? Good evening to you,too.''
In two minutes (the match has already started), his lady walks in, picks up her phone and goes to the other room to call Debby back. ''What a nice girl I've got'' he thinks,'' so caring, she didn't want to distract me from the match''.
Well, where is the problem in that case anyway?? The match has ended, his team won, his lady made him some nice sausages to enjoy with his ice cold Champions League sponsoring beer, he made some extra cash as his bet was right on and - being that happy- they even had a little sex before going to sleep.
The problem is not visible. It is like a little virus (physical or cybernetic, your choice)that has been planted in his body (or pc). So little, stealthy and camouflaged, in full readiness to complete its task. Don't be mistaken. No sign of malady, but it incubates in there waiting for the right opportunity. The opportunity will come eventually, our guy will be having a bath or just assembling his new IKEA shelves, when his cell phone will ring at 11 p.m. He will try to answer it, but in vain. The call has already been answered. ''-Yes, hi Frank, he is here, yea, sure, say hello to Jenn from me''. You see? She took liberty in answering HIS phone freely.
The guy is ready to yell at her, forbid her to answer it again (no, he doesn't want her to know (at least yet)about the lunch break with Frank, the Eminem concert tickets or (God forbid) the newly hired juicy blond secretary they have at work.
He opens his mouth and...closes it again. What can he tell her. We live in an era of equal man and woman rights. You answer my phone, I'll answer yours. It's only fair and square. Bye bye ''my''personal cell phone, welcome ''our'' personal cell phone.
Bye bye, dirty videos, spicy SMSs, secret arrangements, bye bye to '''late night meetings with the boss'' or ''unwanted business trips''. No more secrets. At least not via cell phone.
It is a fact. Trust in a relationship is a fundamental ingredient for its success.
However, trust is earned through time and thousands of little things in everyday personal interaction. The key word here is ''earned''. You cannot buy trust, you cannot hope for it, you simply can't ''discover'' trust. This is why, it is so important to earn the trust yourself and not through cellular eavesdropping, even if the acquired temporary trust somewhat resembles the slowly and steadily, permanent, hard gained and aging resistant,trust.
So, next time she asks you to check her e-mail, answer her cell phone, get some change for the pizza boy from her wallet or drop by her apartment uninvited....think twice. I know sometimes this maybe hard as man, but it is worth that little extra effort.
