Can you answer my cell phone, darling??

Let us have a look on an hypothetical (yet, so common) average couple.

It is Tuesday night. They both sit comfortably on their fluffy couch in front of the telly waiting (the man usually) for the Champions League match to start. Don't ask me why the guy stayed home to watch that match with his beloved one instead of joining his friends, I don't know the answer. The girl decides to go to the bathroom to check on her manicure (not so interested in the pregame show, why would she be) 2 minutes before the kick off. Suddenly, her cell phone rings with that overly sweet romantic ring tone. ''-Honey, can you answer my cell phone, please,she yells. I am in the bathroom. Whoever it might be, tell 'im I''ll get back to him in 2 minutes.''
Unwillingly (kick off only seconds away), the guy walks up to that little piece of furniture where her phone lies, trying to keep both his eyes and his ears on the TV.
Hypnotized by the starting line-ups (why the hell is Sir Alex keeping Rooney benched!!) he comits the stupidest mistake. He answers her phone...her phone.
''-Yes, this is Jack. Ohh, hi Debby, she told me she ''ll get back to you in 2 minutes.Yea, yea, you too...listen, I am in the middle of something right now, ok? Good evening to you,too.''
In two minutes (the match has already started), his lady walks in, picks up her phone and goes to the other room to call Debby back. ''What a nice girl I've got'' he thinks,'' so caring, she didn't want to distract me from the match''.

Well, where is the problem in that case anyway?? The match has ended, his team won, his lady made him some nice sausages to enjoy with his ice cold Champions League sponsoring beer, he made some extra cash as his bet was right on and - being that happy- they even had a little sex before going to sleep.
The problem is not visible. It is like a little virus (physical or cybernetic, your choice)that has been planted in his body (or pc). So little, stealthy and camouflaged, in full readiness to complete its task. Don't be mistaken. No sign of malady, but it incubates in there waiting for the right opportunity. The opportunity will come eventually, our guy will be having a bath or just assembling his new IKEA shelves, when his cell phone will ring at 11 p.m. He will try to answer it, but in vain. The call has already been answered. ''-Yes, hi Frank, he is here, yea, sure, say hello to Jenn from me''. You see? She took liberty in answering HIS phone freely.
The guy is ready to yell at her, forbid her to answer it again (no, he doesn't want her to know (at least yet)about the lunch break with Frank, the Eminem concert tickets or (God forbid) the newly hired juicy blond secretary they have at work.
He opens his mouth and...closes it again. What can he tell her. We live in an era of equal man and woman rights. You answer my phone, I'll answer yours. It's only fair and square. Bye bye ''my''personal cell phone, welcome ''our'' personal cell phone.
Bye bye, dirty videos, spicy SMSs, secret arrangements, bye bye to '''late night meetings with the boss'' or ''unwanted business trips''. No more secrets. At least not via cell phone.

It is a fact. Trust in a relationship is a fundamental ingredient for its success.
However, trust is earned through time and thousands of little things in everyday personal interaction. The key word here is ''earned''. You cannot buy trust, you cannot hope for it, you simply can't ''discover'' trust. This is why, it is so important to earn the trust yourself and not through cellular eavesdropping, even if the acquired temporary trust somewhat resembles the slowly and steadily, permanent, hard gained and aging resistant,trust.

So, next time she asks you to check her e-mail, answer her cell phone, get some change for the pizza boy from her wallet or drop by her apartment uninvited....think twice. I know sometimes this maybe hard as man, but it is worth that little extra effort.

The Toothbrush Effect

Every now and then, some single youngster (or not) decides to move to his own house and enjoy single life, without parental presence around him. He builds a new nest, a love nest, ready to offer him the pleasures of freedom and the countless possibilities of anytime sex with any girl that is attracted to him.
One of those girls in our case looks and behaves somewhat better or different than all the previous ones. So, naturally, the guy wants to enjoy more time with her and invites her more often to his love nest, for some drinks, for dinner, for a dvd night, for a full sex night, all of the above. It makes sense that the girl will occasionally spend the night there. So far , so good.
Then, the Toothbrush arrives. A major trick in the smallest package. She decides to bring a toothbrush there and leave it in the guy's bathrooom, just in case the guy wanted her to spend one more night there. That's it. That is the end. Not the beginning of it, it is the actual end.
After that, the poor ignorant naive male that allows that to happen, loses all kind of personal freedom and ownership of his nice condo. He becomes chained without even knowing. Hell, he might as well give her the key. No big difference.The key is at least a more straight forward approach, something a man would ask from a woman. On the contrary, a woman's way of thinking, trained to perfection through million times of child play and teen or adult female discussion cannot allow her to step into the risky, full of traps ground of a direct approach. No way, why carry a gun to the airport (ask for a key to the house) when you can hijack the Airbus with a treacherous little undetectable weapon?
Of course, this isn't such a bad thing if you wanna let your plane get hi-jacked. Single life as a man is great, especially when money is not a big issue. Married life and kids on the other hand can provide numerous moments of joy and happiness.
The thing is that this is totally a man's call. When he is ready for that, he should know.
Don't let the Toothbrush take that decision for you.